So just recently I have had a bit of a hard time, I have felt confusion, guilt, anger, sadness, and all because I felt I had to be doing something which just wasn’t right for me, or my peace of mind. How important is it to you to be able to do what you love? Whether that is in your spare time or as your day job (you lucky sod if its the latter)! And how would you feel if that was taken away?
I know I run the risk of sounding very privileged here, as there are many people in parts of the world who do not get to pursue the things that they love at all, and they spend every waking hour working in appalling conditions for very little pay. I’m a great supporter of the people working hard to change this, in fact i would highly suggest everyone reading this watches the documentary “The True Cost” – its on Netflix.
I have made a decision to volunteer for The Cornwall Wildlife Trust because I’m passionate about wildlife and what they do. So I have stopped working full time in a good job in order to do this. Also its worth mentioning that I suffer with an anxiety disorder and my anxiety couldn’t cope with being in an office 9-5, which was having a bad effect on my mental and physical health. “Normal” people would have the energy to pursue their hobbies on the weekend or after work, but anxiety offers no such luck. It really destroys you. I know lots of people would think I’m crazy for what I’ m doing….well maybe I’ am a little bit. My biggest feeling though is guilt, guilt because for a while I won’t be bringing in any money and when I’ am it will only be part time wages. Guilt because I’ve let down my old workplace, guilt because I’ve let down my family. Is it not important though, if we can, which I feel extremely privileged to be able to, to do what we love and support causes that we feel passionate about in whatever way we can. Also to be able to look after our physical and mental health so we can actually be useful to those around us? I have no idea where this move will take me but I already feel like I’ am more on “the right path” than ever before. I want to do what I feel truly passionate about, so sod it, thats what I’m going to bloody well do!!
I’m sorry there haven’t been any new posts for a while, and I’m sorry this is just a life update, but its something that I wanted to share with you guys. New poetry will be posted soon- I promise!
Take care guys, and have a lovely day!
Hollie